It's Thanksgiving. I'm finding myself to be wowed and humbled. In the past few months I've been on a materialistic spree, where I want to build a home and a house and a wardrobe and an entertainment library and you name it.

Now, as I'm concluding my Bible study on Job and waking up to a day where the world is presumably celebrating blessings I'm realizing... my blessings are beyond measure. I mean.. just looking around me...

My family is safe, sound and healthy. As are my friends and pets.

I am busy typing this on my laptop. My pretty pink laptop. I HAVE a laptop. And it's pink. That's great.

I am sitting next to my boyfriend.. who at the moment won't stop talking while I'm typing. But aside from that, I HAVE a boyfriend. A wonderful, handsome, godly, loving, vampire-looking boyfriend. And he's hot. And we have a future that has lots of joy and love and beautiful babies on the horizon.

I am sipping from one of my many personal coffee cups that I've collected around the world. Around the WORLD. I'm 24 and I've done so much traveling. I am drinking coffee with peppermint mocha creamer. I get to do this almost every morning. I'm SO blessed for that.

My purse is pretty. I love it. I have a cell phone and it keeps buzzing with texts from friends, family and loved ones wishing me a lovely day. I AM SO BLESSED.

I'm sorry, world, God, family, for constantly thinking of what I WANT. I am so thrilled beyond measure with what I HAVE. I'll try harder not to let my dreaming sully my contentment. ^_^

Every once in awhile, I like to exist in a perpetual "mood". I fling myself in an unrealistically posed saturation-devoid image that is often used to advertise music or clothing and I linger there. Like yesterday. This manifested itself by my sitting limply in a steaming hot shower, watching water slowly cascade down the fogged glass, and drip off my fingers while listening to Death Cab For Cutie.

Every two years I become fashion-sensitive. Two years ago (to the day, actually), I chose to surround myself with some fashion-savvy guys simply because they were fashion-savvy. In images of me during that era of my life, my hair is always fixed, my clothes are nicer and I capture "the mood". The mood that just walked off of a music video of, say, Swing Swing by The All-American Rejects.

I don't know what inspires "The Mood" or why it waxes and wanes. I don't think I lose my hold on it so much as it loses it's hold on me. My wish is that I will retain enough of this acute realization of fashion, music, and still frame minds-eye photography to last me through my seasons of mood-apathy. Like when I am busy saving babies, bashing Obama and trying to train myself to be a good mother and wife.

In the initial gripings of "the mood" I began viewing Jonathan as an ever-increasing real-life manniquin. This resulted in an innocent bout of window-shopping yeilding up a new pair of Dr. Marten's Saratoga shoes for my love.



They look HOT on him. I wish I had all the money in the world to rework our wardrobe. At the moment I would thrive in the creative realm of fabrics and textures. In a very odd way, I long to. It's the grippings of that damn "mood" again, I tell you.

However, even if I could, I would wait on building my wardrobe. I have 27 pounds I'd like to lose before I spend hundreds on something I could picture myself posing in a black and white alley wearing. I do believe this world was meant to freeze in a frame so that even when I am old and fading, I can hold on to those precious seconds forever.

Apparently comparing my mind to a 'Lake of the Dead', not unlike the rivers of Hades in the Underworld, where my thoughts are floating corpses, some running deeper in the current, whilst others skim the surface... apparently this makes for some odd looks from the relatives. Hmmmm. Duly noted.

Anyway. I saw New Moon yesterday. Very good movie! Way better than the first. A stitch from my wisdom tooth blah blah fell out during what (I think) was a very touching, moving scene. I can't remember. I was fighting the urge to vomit.

Ya know, the hollow throbbing hole that I felt in my chest while watching Twilight over a year ago is no longer there. When I reach for that hole, I find Jonathan. Love feels frikkin' sweet.

I am my own Bella, bitches.



Anyway, I'm going shopping now. (Kind of.)

So I've decided to metaphorically freeze myself in carbonite, kind of like Han Solo in The Empire Strikes Back. I imagine that my body is currently being displayed in Jabbas Palace whilst alien hotties dance around me. Although soon, Oola the Twi'lek will be eaten by the Rancor, Princess Leia (Jonathan, metaphorically speaking) will rescue me, and soon we'll be happily sailing off in a sand skiff to be plopped into the Sarlac, where eventually Luke (metaphorically this would be Christmas) will rescue us and launch us into the New Year. I mean, Endor. And then we'll blow up the Death Star and kick it with the Ewoks. My metaphor ends there, so I'm not really sure what that signifies.

Anygay, I'm feeling better. I can technically eat again, but I have an irrational fear of food getting stuck in the holes in the back of my face, so I've been living off squishy foods. Yeah. It's fantastic.

Forever 21 is hiring for seasonal workers. This seemed great for me because 1) I need a seasonal job to buy Christmas presents and 2) I like Forever 21 and have recently been gripped with a burning desire to make Jonathan my walking mannequin and fashion model. I'm going to perish if I don't see him sauntering towers me in a silver-grey pea coat soon. So Forever 21 better freaking get their act together and call me soon.

Now I'm off to gum away at something of little substance so that I don't die. *insert farewell here*

I shot a wedding in Merced, CA yesterday. I knew the gig was low-budget.. a couple of teens with a kid going through the motions for mom and dad and the extended family... and I knew it was a Mexican family, so I knew things would be... different. But hey, I grew up in Central California, the bread basket of the nation, the target of multitudes of Mexican immigrants flocking to the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave.. but I didn't expect THIS kind of culture shock.

First, while I have been inside many many Catholic churches in my travels (the oldest Catholic church in Mexico, the oldest Catholic church in Australia, etc.), I must confess I have never witnessed a Catholic service. I did so last night. It was all in Spanish. And some people were getting married. I think. I just took pictures of everything that looked interesting or important. (People getting tied up with a fancy white rope, flowers getting tossed in a heap by a statue of the Virgin Mary, etc.)

Then there was the reception. Two words. Mariachi Band. Nuff said. Did anyone ever notice that Mariachi Band guys look uncannily like The Three Amigos? I would have given anything to see them turns their heads to the side, cough and then say, "Let's Ride!"

Anyway, the family of the bride and groom.. well, the ones that could speak English anyway.. were very welcoming and kept shoving food at me and posing for funny / cute pictures. And whenever things got dull in the five hour reception, I'd hide in the foyer of the Mexican-American Lodge and read paragraphs out of Heidi. So while being saturated in the heart of Mexican culture I was trying to digest and picture late-1800 Swedish culture. Yeah. I'm cool like that.

Well, it's Sunday. I'm not going to Ren. Faire in Fresno after all, cuz my tooth wants to kill me. So I'm going to church instead and then Jonathan and I are baking a pumkin roll. Then tomorrow is the big day of tooth extraction. Yay! *shudder* Pray for me?

I can't sleep. The odd mockery of slumber that tooth pain coupled with Vicodin provides yeilds some interesting results in "dreams". Or maybe they were hallucinations? I'm not entirely sure. Regardless, I am consumed with a burning desire to buy a vacuum, some photo albums and some tangible pictures with which to stun my friends and family whenever they come to visit Jonathans apartment and get around to snooping the contents of the end table. For I have deemed the recently acquired at the Monday Sale end table to be the end table responsible for holding:

1) The table lamp
2) Photo albums
3) A basket of assorted living room odds and ends (books, D & D materials, project knick knacks, etc.)
4) And then, of course, the obligatory soda someone happens to be drinking

This sounds all carefree and wonderful and fantastic, but things like photo albums, photos and baskets for end tables cost money. Money that could be spent on things like vacuums. So you see, it's quite the vicious cycle.

You know, for someone hopped up on Vicodin, I think I'm terrificly coherent. That, or I'll get around to reading this sometime post-excruciating teeth extraction and think, WTF?

I really do want to sleep right now. I wonder why I can't? Maybe visiting YouTube would help...

My mouth is hurting like a mutha. A big ol' mutha of pain. I need to get a wisdom tooth removed. Because apparently my tooth o' wisdom ain't so smart. It's like, growing into my freaking cheek. And oh GOD how it hurts. I was having slight gum pain and headaches over the past two weeks, and just yesterday it exploded into a TOOTH that is trying to KILL ME by literally CHEWING into my HEAD. I'm not even kidding.



I went to the dentist today (*shudder*) and the dentist confirmed that my cheek is all swollen and unhappy and wrote me out a prescription for drugs and magical burning mouth wash and sent me home to wait till next Monday when some sadistic A-hole plans to cut into my face to extract my tooth and probably wear it on a necklace or something.

Did I mention I HATE dentists? Since I apparently can't mix alcohol with my pain meds I don't know what the eff I'm going to do this entire WEEK of impending oral mutilation. This freaking sucks.

On a brighter note, Katherine sent me a link to a funny page about the history of coffee. You should check it out HERE: theoatmeal.com/comics/coffee

 

I think Dungeons and Dragons sessions are fun, despite my falling asleep on the couch in the middle of some kind of adventure that involved a burning bridge and a magic rope (I think). All I know is that somewhere between mumbling out my desire to conjure an enchanted scorpian monster through my splitting headache and wandering off to steal some of Jonathans sweatpants and crawl into bed, I was put in some kind of nerdy "bubble".

I'm not clear on all the details. All I know is that the game appeared to be great fun complete with salsa and a meaty cheesy dish that goes great with chips.

Now I'm sitting here, all grundgy and tired and sore and thinking I SHOULD be getting ready for church, but instead I'm playing on the FacePlace and updating this journal.

Oh. Hey. Jonathan just showed up. I better get ready now. I also need breakfast. How to dispel this groggy feeling? Ugh.

I had my first class back at the dojo. I'm doing karate again! Wheee! Had I known tournament training was going on till the 14th I would have waited to take classes on the 15th. But oh well. I'll deal.

I am going to start jogging with Jonathan in the mornings. First run is today. Oh boy! It doesn't actually seem like a chore since nothing is boring while I'm with my Prince Charming!

Naruto is starting to get a bit more entertaining. That is a relief. For some reason, when I picture my life, a good chunck of it I envision being spent in front of the TV watching anime and sci-fi. I can't wait till I have kids, then I can blame them. "Oh these darn ragamuffins, always in front of that there flickerbox!" Haha. I kid. I'm only cool with the profuse watching of the telly cuz I know I'm going to be the annoying mom who makes my kids learn musical instruments, dance and martial arts, and go camping / hiking a lot.

I better get to work. Journaling makes me reflect on my current state. And when I reflect on 'jobless, moneyless and holidays are coming fast' I get depressed. *wonders how I'm going to afford karate next month* I need a job. *sigh* I'm gonna go clean something to cheer up...

The balcony is finished! (I think.) I just need to take pictures for Jonathan's mum now. I think I am a fairly decent decorator / gardener. I am actually craving constructive criticism on that field, so I hope the pics I post generate some interest / feedback.

I would like to visit the Kings Art Gallery sometime today. There is an old lady-esque quilt exhibit going on, but there is something in my local Hanford heart that says I should support the arts in the community.. even if the art is ugly and made by old people who use quilting to fill in the void of relatives that don't visit. Depending on how much they are charging to view the tattered shards of empty life, I may or may not view the exhibit between unpacking Jonathan's things.

I'm going back to karate tonight. I will be a black belt soon. Frickin' cool, huh? Okay, I'm hungry. I'm going on the prowl for some life Cereal.... ^_^

Yesterday was Halloween. While I missed carving pumpkins and going to Hobbs Grove and baking mass amounts of things that will make me fat, we did get to play dress up and have a costume party at the house. I fell asleep with mascara on and now my eyes feel like crap. I am excited that we've begun the November march to the Christmas season. Jonathan and I are heading to Anaheim today to shop at Ikea, watch Fantasmic at Disneyland and then begin the packing for the big move to Hanford. I love my boyfriend so much. His giving up Southern California to be close to me means more than I could ever express. I am so blessed to have the love that I have from such an amazing, handsome, charming man. ^_^

Well, I really have nothing to type on about. If I just wrote out what is in my head it would be pages upon pages of me whining about my sinuses hurting and death to nasals and whatnot. I'm getting a cold and I turn into a miserable ball of pessimism whenever that happens. So I think it's best that I just conclude this little blog entry.

Wish us luck in furniture shopping for Jonathan at Ikea!! In astro-babble having a full moon in Taurrus means you should keep a sharp watch on your money, and all purchases should go towards tangible and practical investments that (and I quote) "make you feel content and secure". My starry fortune cookies always make me smile whenever they lend everyday advice that aligns with my plans. I just ignore them the other 79% of the time when they don't. Hehe! ^_^

I quit Starbucks yesterday. After my work times were changed without any notice THREE TIMES, and after my rate of pay was changed without noticed THREE TIMES, and after my paycheck was delayed without notice THREE TIMES it just seemed like the third time was the charm. The charm being not working at Starbucks anymore. When I realized that the guys ringing bells outside of supermarkets for The Salvation Army make just as much per hour as the baristas getting shreiked at while sweating over a veritable never-ending conveyor belt of lattes... well, it just seemed like a no-duh situation in throwing in the apron.

I'm really crossing my fingers on the Bartending job I interviewed for at The Palace. Oh man, what an awesome job that would be. *pray for me!*

My boyfriend and I finished gardening up the balcony on White Street. We thoughtfully picked out each plant and even gave names and back stories to each one! Ahem... There is:

Terry, the gay fern from Boston who is currently feeling a little under the weather.

Bouganivoullia the Bouganvilla, the incestuous French aristocrat, along with her four sons Jauque, Louise, Pierre and Gusto.

Krasus, the male concubine Red Dragon Japanese Maple tree.

Then we have Mondo, son of Momey, King of the Mome Raths.

Right next to him is his distant cousin Sir Kalb of the Black Court to the North.

In the corner of the balcony we have some ornamental grass, but his story is unknown.

My handsome boyfriend caught a cockatoo in my parents front yard the other day. We were going to list it in the 'Found' section of The Hanford Sentinel, but decided to wait till the owner came to us... partially because we didn't want some con artist to come weaseling after a homeless $1500 bird, and partially because we kind of wanted to keep it.

While buying toilet paper and bird seed we saw the "Lost - grey and pink parrot. REWARD" ad. Jonathan called the number and a very emotional, very grateful middle aged woman was reunited with her baby. Now we have our $100 reward. And lots of parrot poop on my bedroom floor.

I am going to poke and prod and bother Jonathan into using the reward money to buy some wicker patio conversational chairs for the balcony at his apartment. That will be my French Quarter meets City Garden meets Nerds with a Balcony living space I've decided. I could get it set up before the holidays and we can sit out there in the fog, bundled up in sweaters and scarves drinking hot chocolate and eating gingerbread while listening to Christmas music. Oooooo! That sounds so fantastic!!!

Anyway. I'm really getting into this whole dreaming about my patio and garden. Or rather, Jonathans patio and garden that I'm stealing. hehe! I am going to get a refill on the coffee and shower my boy in kisses. Mmmm. Nummy. ^_^

I tried to go to Artworks in downtown Hanford the other day, but they are still closed. "For Remodeling" it says on the door, but the word on the street is that they got shut down by the Food and Drug and Health and Blah Blah City People for letting dogs and cats run all around the place and poop and stuff near the kitchen. I always thought it was weird that they let people just wander into the kitchen area on the way to the bathroom. But they had a bunch of books all nailed to the wall for a toilet paper dispenser, so that was cool.

I thought about going to the Kings Art Center today to view the Pins and Needles Quilt Art exhibit, but they close at 2pm and it's like... that right now. But quilts are gay anyway, so it's ok. The only really "real" art gallery around these parts is the Clark Center for Japanese Art, and the samurai exhibit is going till January of 2010. So I'm kind of SOL on the whole being cultured and crap.

My boyfriend is the handsomest, most wonderfullest, most perfectest man in the whole wide world. Him and my dad. Jonathan has eyes and eyebrows that make me want to make a baby. He is laughing at me right now. He is such a lucky guy to have such a silly, witty, word-making-upper girl like me.

I'm having cramps. Now the online blogging world knows. Send me chocolate. It's my lady-time. I'm going to go read another chapter of The Leighton Homestead and then go watch Naruto with my baby-cakes. Mmmmmm, baby-cakes. That would be really nice with some chocolate right about now.....

I recently learned that an old crazy man with a tiny penis complex and a thing for young hot girls that can dance intellectual circles around befuddled old guys like himself is stalking my private LiveJournal account. I imagine he wakes up to his empty day, muttering about me to his cat, sorrowfully downing lattes and feverishly clicking through his saved links till he can read my words and thoughts and rue the day that little Miss Gingi broke his heart.

It's flattering, in a creepy kind of way.

That said, I love my boyfriend! It's great having a young, hot, non-wrinkley, strong man who is secure in his masculinity and will someday give me one hell of a meat puppet show. ;-)

It's a lovely day today. It's overcast, my window is open to let the cool rain scented breeze in, my room is clean, I'm listening to some Glenn Miller big band swing and I'm about to read a book before I hop into the shower and get all squeaky clean for my love who is coming to visit me in just hours! I find myself increasingly existing just to elicit smiles from this handsome man who has stolen my heart. I'm such a happy girl!

I can feel it in the air. Today is a good day. I feel like dancing. ^_^

Last night, as I was talking on the phone with Jonathan, I saw an explosion outside of my window. I thought at first someone was shining a flashlight into my room, but then when the whole southern sky erupted into flames, I thought maybe it was the Rapture. It turns out that it was not Jesus Christ come to get me, but only a transformer that exploded seven houses down the street from me. (A telephone pole transformer, not the alien robotic kind.)

Once I realized I was not going to heaven, it was actually quite a lot of fun to plop my boots on and trudge down the dark, electrically deprived street in the pouring rain to chase down the firetrucks and police cars and watch the telephone pole burning and sparking. I even got to stand around in the downpour, with my hoodie pulled up over my head and my hands shoved deep in my pockets, huddled up with the neighbors sharing our individual accounts of how we heard / saw the explosion. I think my account was by far the most exciting. Well, except for maybe the poor blokes who lived directly behind the exploded telephone wires. But still.

Anyway, THIS is the exact reason why I cannot work a job that requires my getting up at 3am. The fates have destined me to be a creature of the night.

We had no electricity all night / this morning and it only just now came back on about ten minutes ago. It sucked. I kept trying to turn things on, even while conciously thinking, "Gee, it sucks that the electricity is out!" Having no electric juice in the house reduced us to unspeakable horrors. We had to make coffee like cavemen! (Well, first I made a coffee run at McDonalds. But then we resorted to boiling water over our gas stove and then pouring it over some coffee grounds. Freaking primitive I tell you. I'm emotionally scarred.)

So after all the excitement, I'm nursing a headache today. It's going to be one of those dull aching ones that won't go away, I can tell. I intend to drown the pain in lots of coffee (brewed in a civilized manner with a paper filter and coffee machine and lots of electricity) and I'm going to read a whole heck of a lot. Oh! And get that new article out on my opinion website. Since no one has been donating to me, I feel fully justified in making this article as offensive and shocking as possible. Stay tuned!! ^_^

I got out of bed at an ungodly hour this morning for training at my new job as a barista at Starbucks. When I left the house at 5:30am to head to work it was still pitch black out, and the constellations were looking frosty clear in the sky. We got to catch glimpses of Mars shining red along the horizon, which actually made my morning trek worthwhile. (Mars is red due to the high amounts of iron oxide on it's surface. The more you know.) Anyway, I'd intended to wake up early some morning this month to catch it, but now I don't have to! Hehe.

The month of October has me craving scary movies. I'm slowly getting energized to DO things. This is my season, after all. IT'S AUTUMNY HARVEST TIIIIIIIME!! ^_^

Oh, and as for how work went.. our Starbucks is the least friendly of all Starbucks in Hanford. I'm sure this is true.

Now what should I have for lunch? A nap? Or thai food?

Dan'l came over last night and cut my hair. Then I went into the bathroom and dyed it black. Now I have short(er) black hair. I intend to start using a straightening iron again and start regularly using foundation. Then I will look all ghostly and pale and awesome for my favorite time of year. This is fun!

I'm so excited for fall, and getting slightly irate that the tempurature isn't dropping. BE AUTUMN DAMMIT!!! And, ya know, eventually winter too.

I exhausted myself running through yellow belt basics yesterday. Just simple kicks, strikes, blocks, etc. And my muscles feel like crap today.

OH! And everyone pooped on me! Long story. But my text message inbox was flooded with random texts of poop bombs. *sigh* My brother is so freaking weird. I need to start plotting my revenge. ^_^

I'm going to Fresno today! And for some reason, it feels like an exciting adventure. *is inexplicably giddy*